Love is a topic almost everyone talks about in our daily life. Nobody knows the real meaning for love and nobody can know how it feels to be in love unless you experience it. Scheler states that; “love is a tendency or as it may be, the act that seeks to lead everything in the direction of perfection of value proper to it and succeeds when no obstacles are present.”
Hugo G. Beigel claims in his article “Romantic Love” that sometimes sexual cravings are mistaken for love. Men use the languages and gestures of love just to obtain their sexual desires and needs and the women interpret it as “love”. Love is a theory most philosophers talked and still talk about. Edward V. Vacek explains in his article “Scheler’s Phenomenology of Love” that we as human beings first love the whole being and then come to love all other qualities. Can love destroy a relationship? I believe that an excess in love can lead to destroy a relationship even though it was built on confidence, trust, and security. Beigel in his article “Romantic Love” quotes De Rougement who believes that romance is a “fever” and “a passing fancy” that is “the principal reason … for the growing number of divorces” A relationship cannot only be between couples. There is a relationship between friends,
parents, family members, and much more. But all of these relationships are built on love and caring of one another. Also, a relationship is between two persons or more. You cannot build a relationship between you and yourself. So basically relationships are built on love, trust, and of course care. Dr. Joseph Yacoub believes that;
“A relationship is to get out of you and be the other. It is to stretch yourself to the other. You will become an extended self-beloved person.”
Also, American Heritage dictionary defines a relationship as “the condition or fact of being related” and as “a romantic and sexual involvement.” So, we can say that a relationship is a relation between two or more people built on love, security, care, and trust.
Many people believe that love cannot destroy a relationship; on the contrary, it can revive the relationship.
Beigel emphasizes on the importance of love in a relationship and shows that in the beginning of the 19th century love became one of the main components in building a healthy and good relationship. In addition Edward V. Vacek states that “One who loves will necessarily suffer.” and “Acts of love are always accompanied by positive states of feeling, even if love is in some way frustrated or rebuffed.” Love combined with trust, care, and security makes the perfect relationship. Hugo G. Beigel states in his article “Romantic Love” that love cannot be held responsible for failures in relationships because most of the successful relationships are built on love of one another. But, sometimes love destroys a relationship. It is not a basic element in a relationship. For example my neighbor married a woman fifteen years ago. They got married not because they love each other, on the contrary, because they understand each other. So their relationship was not bu
ilt on love, but it worked and they are still together now living happily with three children. Beigel again gives an example on how the knights such as Ulrich Von Lichtenstein sent his finger to his mistress and drank the water in which she washed and Pierre Vidal who went into a bears hide and hunted. This example emphasizes on the fact that attraction between couples is sometimes more important than love. Those knights used to do anything to attract the other partner and thus this all turns into love. Also many people believe that love can make couples or partners closer to each other and thus needier of each other. Marriage counselors believe love is needed in a relationship more than “feelings and circumstances warrant.” In addition English novelist Samuel Richardson said “love is needed for a successful marriage.” But sometimes love can separate the lovers, and in extreme cases can make them hate each other. For example, my friend was dating a guy that she loved normally. After two months, she was extremely in love with that guy to an extent that she could not separate from him. This excess in love caused a breakup between them and now they do not claim that they know one another. So this love did not get them closer, on the contrary, it alienated them.
On the other hand, many people believe that love destroys a healthy relationship.
Beigel in his article “Romantic Love” puts light on the American Concept which suggests that individual happiness is a main component in a relationship. Also Beigel shows that love in our days is being considered as a requirement of the female to expand sexual favors to the male. Love is customized with the circumstances of our age and of course ego demands. An excess in the way you love your partner leads to an excess in jealousy. The loved one cannot stand this much jealousy and thus backs up. For example, when my friend - in the previous example – was extremely in love with her boyfriend, she unconsciously felt too jealous on him which led to them breaking up. Each person, no matter where he is from, like to spend some time alone. Sometimes excess of love prevents the person from his own privacy. So, the loved one always finds his partner with him and never has time alone. This will lead to destruction in the relationship. For example, when you find that your friend or partner or family member is always next to you, you will get bored from this person and you will also feel a lack of privacy. That is why you usually end up in destroying your relationship to save your privacy. 
I believe that love destroys a relationship no matter how healthy it was. And by love I do not mean normal love, on the contrary, I mean an excess in love and an excess in showing this feeling of love. Dr. Yacoub said,
“Extreme love ruins a relationship. How can you be possessive with someone you love? When somebody loves, the lover is free.”
Beigel believes that a relationship should be built on joy, common interests and of course cooperation which means having fun between the couple. So to conclude, love is a component of a relationship, but not the only one. Attraction between the partners, the understanding of each other, and of course trusting one another can be sometimes more important than love itself.
parents, family members, and much more. But all of these relationships are built on love and caring of one another. Also, a relationship is between two persons or more. You cannot build a relationship between you and yourself. So basically relationships are built on love, trust, and of course care. Dr. Joseph Yacoub believes that;“A relationship is to get out of you and be the other. It is to stretch yourself to the other. You will become an extended self-beloved person.”
Also, American Heritage dictionary defines a relationship as “the condition or fact of being related” and as “a romantic and sexual involvement.” So, we can say that a relationship is a relation between two or more people built on love, security, care, and trust.
Many people believe that love cannot destroy a relationship; on the contrary, it can revive the relationship.
Beigel emphasizes on the importance of love in a relationship and shows that in the beginning of the 19th century love became one of the main components in building a healthy and good relationship. In addition Edward V. Vacek states that “One who loves will necessarily suffer.” and “Acts of love are always accompanied by positive states of feeling, even if love is in some way frustrated or rebuffed.” Love combined with trust, care, and security makes the perfect relationship. Hugo G. Beigel states in his article “Romantic Love” that love cannot be held responsible for failures in relationships because most of the successful relationships are built on love of one another. But, sometimes love destroys a relationship. It is not a basic element in a relationship. For example my neighbor married a woman fifteen years ago. They got married not because they love each other, on the contrary, because they understand each other. So their relationship was not bu
ilt on love, but it worked and they are still together now living happily with three children. Beigel again gives an example on how the knights such as Ulrich Von Lichtenstein sent his finger to his mistress and drank the water in which she washed and Pierre Vidal who went into a bears hide and hunted. This example emphasizes on the fact that attraction between couples is sometimes more important than love. Those knights used to do anything to attract the other partner and thus this all turns into love. Also many people believe that love can make couples or partners closer to each other and thus needier of each other. Marriage counselors believe love is needed in a relationship more than “feelings and circumstances warrant.” In addition English novelist Samuel Richardson said “love is needed for a successful marriage.” But sometimes love can separate the lovers, and in extreme cases can make them hate each other. For example, my friend was dating a guy that she loved normally. After two months, she was extremely in love with that guy to an extent that she could not separate from him. This excess in love caused a breakup between them and now they do not claim that they know one another. So this love did not get them closer, on the contrary, it alienated them.On the other hand, many people believe that love destroys a healthy relationship.
Beigel in his article “Romantic Love” puts light on the American Concept which suggests that individual happiness is a main component in a relationship. Also Beigel shows that love in our days is being considered as a requirement of the female to expand sexual favors to the male. Love is customized with the circumstances of our age and of course ego demands. An excess in the way you love your partner leads to an excess in jealousy. The loved one cannot stand this much jealousy and thus backs up. For example, when my friend - in the previous example – was extremely in love with her boyfriend, she unconsciously felt too jealous on him which led to them breaking up. Each person, no matter where he is from, like to spend some time alone. Sometimes excess of love prevents the person from his own privacy. So, the loved one always finds his partner with him and never has time alone. This will lead to destruction in the relationship. For example, when you find that your friend or partner or family member is always next to you, you will get bored from this person and you will also feel a lack of privacy. That is why you usually end up in destroying your relationship to save your privacy. I believe that love destroys a relationship no matter how healthy it was. And by love I do not mean normal love, on the contrary, I mean an excess in love and an excess in showing this feeling of love. Dr. Yacoub said,
“Extreme love ruins a relationship. How can you be possessive with someone you love? When somebody loves, the lover is free.”
Beigel believes that a relationship should be built on joy, common interests and of course cooperation which means having fun between the couple. So to conclude, love is a component of a relationship, but not the only one. Attraction between the partners, the understanding of each other, and of course trusting one another can be sometimes more important than love itself.
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